


It's Not Christmas Til Somebody Cries

by justyrae



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Boys Kissing, Friends to Lovers, Jealousy, Luke is a big grumpy baby, M/M, Miscommunication, also there's a hot tub at one point so you're welcome, socal boys making stupid winter decisions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 08:07:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27967313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justyrae/pseuds/justyrae
Summary: All Luke wants is to give Alex the best Christmas ever.
Relationships: Alex Mercer/Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 126





	It's Not Christmas Til Somebody Cries

**Author's Note:**

> ***i posted this earlier but ao3 messed up the date and it annoyed me to no end so i deleted and reposted. sorry!***
> 
> only 2 weeks after posting my first fic in this fandom and i'm back with another!! (pls don't expect this to become a thing... i definitely cannot stick to that schedule)
> 
> so this fic is set in the 90s and sunset curve does not exist and by extension neither does reggie :( sorry!
> 
> also this fic is affectionately known to me as "bicurious or bifurious" and i'm sure you'll understand after you've read it. enjoy!

Luke only really wants one thing for Christmas. His parents have been asking him what he wants since before Halloween, but he's far past the point of writing out a list for Santa like he did when he was a kid.

(Okay, except maybe he did make a list for his birthday earlier in the year but that was only because if he didn't write down the specifics he's pretty sure his mom and dad wouldn't have known what a Game Boy even was let alone how to get one for him.)

But this year what he wants isn't something he can buy. What Luke wants most of all is for his best friend Alex to be happy, and he doesn't know how to ask for it. He's done all he can to try and cheer Alex up on a regular basis and while his tactics work for a short period of time, he needs something that'll help long-term.

The thing is, he has an _idea_ , but he's just not sure if his folks will go for it. It's kind of a big ask, but after all… it _is_ Christmas.

Well, it's almost Christmas. The actual holiday is still about a week away, but the Pattersons have been planning a holiday trip up to Lake Tahoe for about a month now and Luke knows if he doesn't ask soon then he's gonna lose his chance altogether.

He's been thinking about it all day and he made the decision to ask them about it during dinner, but now that he's sitting at the table with them it seems so much harder to do. His parents are cool for the most part, and they've been totally fine with Alex spending more time at the house than usual over the last few months. Maybe this won't be as big of a deal as Luke thinks it's going to be.

Bottom line, he'll never know unless he asks.

"Can Alex come to Tahoe with us?" he blurts out in the middle of a story his dad's telling about something that happened at his work. Luke clearly wasn't paying attention, stuck in his own head and so worked up over nothing that his words came out jumbled at best.

"What?" Emily laughs a little as she and Mitch both turn their attention to Luke, who suddenly wants to slide down his chair and disappear under the table.

"I was just…" Luke clears his throat and tries again. "Can Alex come to Tahoe with us?"

They don't answer right away, but they share a look that sends Luke into a tailspin.

"I just, like, I thought it might be nice. Since he's over here a lot anyway, and since we'll be gone for so long and he's my best friend I just--"

"Luke," Mitch gently interrupts, sharing another look with Emily before he reaches out and puts his hand on top of Luke's. "We were going to tell you later this week, but…"

"We already asked Alex's parents if they'd let him come with us," Emily finishes, smiling brightly at Luke.

"Really?" Luke stares at his parents, his grin growing wider as they both nod. "Really?! Oh my god, thank you!! I gotta go call him--" He starts to get up but pauses when he hears his father speak again.

"Luke," Mitch says, a slight warning to his voice. "You can call Alex after dinner."

Luke stifles a laugh and sits back down in his chair, picking up his fork as he grins down at his plate.

❆

To say that Alex doesn't believe Luke when he tells him the good news is… an understatement. Alex thinks that Luke can't possibly be serious, there's no way his parents would pay for him to go with them to Lake Tahoe for a week and a half. He has no idea what a vacation like that costs for just three people, let alone adding a fourth.

"No way, dude, I don't believe you."

"You calling me a liar?" Luke asks, tugging on the phone cord a little too hard for his mom's liking, judging by the look she gives him. He smiles apologetically at her and she rolls her eyes and shakes her head at him.

"Yes, I'm absolutely calling you a liar. There's no way--"

"Dude, I'm telling you. I can put my mom on the phone right now if you really don't believe me."

"No, you don't--"

Before Alex can finish his protest, Luke pulls the house phone away from his ear and holds it out to his mom. She huffs as she gets up from her chair, setting her book down on the table next to it. Luke grins as she takes the phone from him, putting his chin in the palm of his hand while he waits for their conversation to end.

"Hi, honey. Yes, it's true. I already talked to your mom, it's all set." Emily pauses for a moment and a small smile spreads across her face. "Don't worry about that, Alex, okay? You're practically family to us, you know that, don't you? Okay, honey. Bye-bye."

She hands the phone back to Luke, who blows her a kiss before he puts the phone back up to his ear.

"See? I told you." There's a pause on the other end of the line, and for a moment Luke worries that Alex hung up. "Alex?"

"Yeah," Alex sniffs loudly, "I'm here."

Luke turns away from his mom, lowering his voice as he asks, "you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good." Alex clears his throat and laughs a little. "Tell your parents thank you, okay?"

"I will. I'm glad you're coming with us."

"Me too."

❆

The drive from Los Angeles to Lake Tahoe is going to take, according to Luke, _forever_. His dad is the one driving, which means it's going to take twice as long because he drives like a grandma. If Alex wasn't coming along (and… if Luke hadn't failed his driver's test (twice)) then Luke definitely would've tried to talk his parents into letting him drive.

But, as it stands, he and Alex are stuck in the backseat of his dad's sedan for the next ten hours, at the very least.

"What do you even _do_ for a drive that long?" Alex asks as he tries to make himself as comfortable as possible. He brought along a pillow, which Luke is absolutely going to steal at some point, and tucks it behind his head against the headrest.

"Eat snacks," Luke says, gesturing to the grocery bag tucked in the trunk area behind them. "Also, the license plate game."

Alex rolls his eyes and snorts. "I'm not playing the license plate game with you for ten hours."

"Well…" Luke rummages around in his backpack and pulls out his Game Boy. "There's also Super Mario Land."

Alex raises his eyebrows and gives Luke an intrigued look. Luke grins.

"Now I've got your attention."

"What happens when the batteries die?"

"Dude." Luke scoffs and pulls out a giant pack of AA batteries. "Have a little faith."

Alex snorts again as he smiles at Luke. "Yeah, okay."

"Everyone buckled in?" Mitch asks as he slides into the driver's seat.

"Yeah," Luke and Alex chorus in reply.

"Okay," he says as he turns on the engine, and immediately the radio turns on and starts playing the station he'd been listening to last, which happens to be opera.

"Dad," Luke groans, "can we talk about the soundtrack _please_?"

"What? You don't like this?"

" _Dad_ ," he repeats with an even louder groan. "C'mon, I brought some CDs…"

"Now, I know it's not Blue Day, but--"

"Green Day," Luke corrects, pressing his head into the back of his dad's seat while Alex stifles laughter next to him. "Dad, it's _Green Day_."

"You're not the only one with a CD collection, Luke." Emily turns around in the passenger seat and smiles at him as she puts a disc into the player.

A few seconds later, an acoustic guitar starts playing and soon it's followed by Joni Mitchell's voice. Luke groans again as he sinks into the backseat, looking to Alex for some sympathy.

"I like Joni Mitchell," Alex says with a shrug and Luke stares at him in disbelief and betrayal.

"See if I let you play Super Mario now."

Luke turns so his back is partially to Alex, curling in on himself with his feet propped up against the door. Alex snickers under his breath and shifts so he slides down the seat a little, pulling his pillow with him. They share the middle space, and after a while Luke's leaning back against Alex's shoulder as they both watch Mario jump his way across the tiny Game Boy screen.

It's dark by the time they reach the resort, and by that point none of them want to set foot in a car for the next week and a half. Alex shivers violently when he steps out of the car, tugging the sleeves of his hoodie down and around his hands before he curls his arms around himself.

"Did you pack your coat?" Luke asks as he tugs on a winter coat, quickly zipping it up to his chin. Alex looks panicked for a second and darts his eyes away to avoid looking Luke in the eyes.

"Yeah, it's… uhh… in my suitcase. Stupid," he says with an awkward laugh.

Luke rolls his eyes and shakes his head. "C'mon," he says, gesturing to the trunk. "Let's grab the bags and get inside."

Alex pauses, seemingly waiting for Luke to open the trunk but even after the door's open he doesn't reach for anything right away. He waits for Luke to pull out the first suitcase before he speaks, keeping his eyes on the door to the cabin where Luke's parents disappeared through a minute or two earlier.

"Are you sure it's okay that I'm here?"

Luke snorts a little as he passes a smaller bag to Alex. "It's a little late to ask that, don't you think?" He laughs as he takes out another suitcase. "I mean, we were just in the car for ten hours."

"Well, yeah, but like…" Alex shifts his weight from one foot to the other nervously. "I could like, grab the bus back, or something."

"Dude." Luke stops fussing with the bags for a moment and turns towards Alex. "I want you here. My parents want you here. It was their idea!"

"Yeah, but--"

"No buts," Luke says as he pushes another bag into Alex's arms. "You're stuck with us for a week and a half, dude."

Alex's mouth twitches with a smile as he adjusts his hold on the bag, sliding the strap over his shoulder as he nods his head. "Okay."

"Good." Luke smiles and claps Alex's shoulder. "Now let's get inside, it's freezing out here."

Between the two of them they somehow manage to get all of the suitcases into the cabin in one trip, though getting through the front door takes a bit more maneuvering than they're really capable of. Luke's dad rushes over to help just to ensure neither of them end up facedown on the floor.

"You could've waited for us to help," Mitch says as he arranges the suitcases near the door.

"Yeah, but now it's done." Luke grins.

"You could've hurt yourselves," Emily calls from the kitchen, "on the first day of the trip, no less." She appears in the doorway with her arms crossed but a smile on her face. "And then where would you be?"

"In Tahoe?" Luke answers.

"I think it was a rhetorical question," Alex whispers. Luke turns his head to look at Alex over his shoulder and glares at him.

"Okay, time for bed," Mitch says as he claps his hands together. "Boys, you're down the hall to the right. Bathroom's right next door."

"Cool, thanks Mr. Patterson," Alex says as he picks up his bag and starts to follow Luke.

"Thanks, Dad!"

"And Luke? No loud music, it's after 10."

Luke rolls his eyes and huffs loudly, but nods. "Love you guys, good night!"

"Good night!" Emily calls as Alex and Luke drag their bags down the hallway.

Luke pushes the door to their shared room open with his foot and heads for the bed on the right side of the room. Alex pauses in the doorway, looking at the size of the room before Luke realizes he hasn't moved.

"Oh, did you want this one?" he asks. "I don't really care, I can--"

"No, it's cool." Alex laughs awkwardly and steps into the room. "This one's fine." He sits down on the bed and continues looking around, even pulling back the curtain on the window to look at the falling snow outside.

"Not bad, right?" Luke collapses onto his bed, bouncing a little as he stretches out.

"Yeah," Alex answers softly. He reaches for his bag and unzips it, starting to pull out his clothes before he gets up and opens the closet on his side of the room. Luke, who had absolutely no intention of actually unpacking apart from emptying his bag into the chest of drawers at some point, watches as Alex hangs up his things.

About a minute goes by before he realizes that while Alex brought several different shirts and pairs of jeans, he didn't bring any actual winter clothes. There's no jacket, no gloves, nothing like that.

Luke opens his mouth to ask him about it, but then he remembers how weird Alex looked when they were outside and he made a comment about his coat and it hits him. Alex doesn't have a winter coat. It's not the craziest thing in the world, they do live in LA after all. But he definitely had more than enough time to go get one so… why didn't he?

"I'll be right back," Luke says as he gets up from his bed. "Bathroom," he adds before he steps out into the hallway. Alex acknowledges him with a nod before Luke disappears from the doorway and heads to his parents' room on the other side of the cabin.

He knocks before he opens the door, finding his parents doing the same thing that he'd just left Alex doing. His mom looks up at him first, smiling at him as he comes through the door and closes it gently behind him.

"Everything okay, Luke?"

"Yeah, the room's great." He pauses for a moment, biting down on his bottom lip as he tries to think of the best way to put what's swirling around in his head. "Mom?"

"What is it, honey?"

"I don't think Alex has a coat. Or, like, any winter clothes."

Emily looks at Mitch and they both stay silent as they have a conversation with their eyes, something Luke's seen them do a million times. Half the time it's coming up with a punishment because he's done something stupid, but it's different this time.

"Don't worry about it," Mitch eventually says. "We'll take care of it tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay." Luke breathes out a sigh of relief and Emily comes towards him and gives him a hug.

"I'm glad you told us," she says. "We want Alex to have a good time, we certainly don't want him to freeze."

"Yeah," Luke laughs, "me neither."

"Okay." Emily smiles and kisses Luke's cheek. "Off to bed."

"Night," Luke says as he leaves the room, already feeling a whole lot better as he makes his way back to his and Alex's room.

He's determined to make the next ten days the best Alex has ever had.

❆

The first morning in the cabin is a perfectly normal morning. Alex wakes up first, leaving a snoring Luke alone in the room as he heads to the bathroom to get ready for the day. He's not sure what to expect, but even if they only sit around the cabin he'll consider it a good day.

Luke is sort of awake by the time Alex comes back into the room, but it's obvious that he woke up maybe five minutes ago. He squints as he looks at Alex and then at the clock on the nightstand.

"Why are you up?" he says, groaning as he faceplants back into his pillow. "It's vacation."

"Couldn't sleep any longer," Alex says as he sits down on his bed. Luke grunts as he turns his head so he can look at his best friend. "You don't have to get up, though."

"No, I will." Luke sighs heavily as he sits upright, swaying a little as he rubs at his eyes and yawns. "Otherwise my mom will probably come in here and wake me up by stealing my blanket."

Alex stifles a laugh and Luke stretches his arms, sighing contentedly as his shoulders pop.

"What now?" Alex asks.

"Now?" Luke grins. "Breakfast."

Luke's mom had packed enough food to last them several weeks, though knowing Luke and his eating habits it would probably all be gone by the time their trip was over. The cabin has a full kitchen which meant they'd likely be having home-cooked meals for the majority of the trip, but inevitably there would be a few dinners out or maybe even some pizza delivered if Emily was feeling lazy (and if Luke was particularly persuasive).

When Luke and Alex emerged out of the hallway they were hit with a wave of delicious smells coming from the kitchen. Luke's dad was already sitting at the table with a cup of coffee and the morning paper.

"Good morning!" Emily says as she comes out of the kitchen with two plates full of food. She sets one down in front of Mitch and takes her place at the other head of the table. "There's plenty of food in the kitchen, help yourselves!"

"Thanks Mom," Luke says as Alex echoes the sentiment. A few minutes later, they're all sitting at the table together.

"So, do you two have plans yet?" Emily asks. Alex looks at Luke, who shrugs his shoulders and turns to his mom.

"Not yet," he says through a mouthful of toast. "Why?"

"I was just thinking that it might be nice for us to explore the resort this morning. Maybe grab a couple things."

"That sounds great, Mrs. P." Alex smiles politely. Luke waits until Alex is staring down at his plate, readying his next bite, and gives his mom a covert thumbs-up. She winks at him as she takes a sip out of her coffee cup.

Their cabin isn't too far from the center of the resort, but the cold air mixed with the thin fabric of a single hoodie on a Southern California boy means that Alex starts shivering within seconds. Luke, instead of offering his scarf or his hat, gets a better idea of how to help.

"Think fast!" he shouts before he leaps onto Alex's back, who just barely manages to catch him and stay upright so they don't go headfirst into a snowbank.

"What the--" Alex grunts as he tries to adjust to having his best friend clinging to his back. "What _are_ you doing?"

"Keeping you warm, duh. Exercise!"

"Right," Alex says through gritted teeth. "You're an idiot."

"It's working, though, right?" Luke grins as he wraps his arms around Alex's neck and presses their faces together. "Getting warmer already, huh?"

"You're still an idiot." Alex huffs. "Who do you think you are, Yoda?"

"Carry me, you will," Luke says, imitating Yoda's voice. "Warm, you will be."

"Oh my god, shut up or I'll drop you."

Luke, knowing full well Alex would never drop him, keeps up the Yoda voice until they reach the ski shop. His dad's already at the top of the small set of steps by the door, but before Luke can slide off of Alex' back he's unceremoniously dropped into the nearby snowbank.

Alex laughs uproariously as he follows Luke's mom up the stairs, leaving Luke to get himself out of the snowbank all on his own. By the time he manages to get himself out, his dad's got a bit of an exasperated look on his face. Luke smiles apologetically at him, but then his dad cracks a smile and claps him on the shoulder.

"C'mon, snowman."

Luke spots his mom over by the coats, but Alex is looking at the rentals counter. Looking for a little payback, Luke grabs a big hat and a pair of gloves off of a nearby display and comes up behind Alex.

"You need this," he says as he pulls a thick beanie over Alex's head. "And these," he says, pushing the gloves into his arms while Alex tries to re-orient the beanie so it's not covering his eyes.

"Luke, I--" Alex tries to protest, but next Luke finds a scarf and manages to wind it around his neck before he can get his argument out. He tugs on the end, pulling Alex over to where his mom is like a puppy on a leash. An extremely annoyed puppy, that is.

"Alex, honey, what size are you?" Emily asks as she pulls a jacket off the rack and holds it out to him.

"I… I don't--" Alex manages to get the scarf and beanie off and runs his hand through his hair. "You don't have to--"

"You'll catch your death if you don't have a proper coat," Emily says as she studies the jacket against Alex's frame. "And I won't return you home as a popsicle."

"An Alex-icle," Luke says with a grin.

"I can't accept all of this," Alex says as he holds out all the things that Luke picked out. "It's too much."

"Nonsense," Emily says. "Here, you pick out a jacket you like and I'll go find some snow pants for you. I'll take these, too."

She grabs the hat, scarf, and gloves and before Alex can stop her, she's gone off to the other side of the store. Alex steps in closer to Luke, who's already started pawing through the jackets.

"Dude, what's up with your mom?"

"What do you mean?"

"Seriously?" Alex sighs. "This is too much. She and your dad really don't have to do this, they've already spent so much just bringing me here, and I--"

"Dude," Luke turns to face Alex and puts his hand on his shoulder, "stop stressing."

"But--"

"I know you've had a really rough couple of months with your folks, okay?" Luke lowers his voice a little; the shop isn't too busy but this is just a bit too personal for some random stranger to eavesdrop on. "I just really want you to have a good Christmas. And my parents do, too."

Alex swallows hard and looks at the rack of jackets, his bottom lip shaking a little as he avoids looking Luke in the eyes.

"You deserve to be happy, Alex. Don't forget that."

Alex sniffs loudly, and then before Luke knows what's happening he's being engulfed in a tight hug. He laughs a little as he hugs Alex back, not letting go until Alex does first.

"Thanks," Alex says as he wipes his eyes. "You've been really cool about everything and I just… thanks."

"Of course, bro. You're my best friend." Luke pats his shoulder. "You're stuck with me. Also--" Luke grabs a jacket with neon green stripes on it and pushes it into Alex's arms. "This is totally you."

Alex rolls his eyes. "You're still an idiot."

Half an hour later, Alex is totally decked out in snow gear. Possibly even a little _too_ much, given that Luke can hardly even tell that Alex is actually underneath all the winter clothing.

"You look like the Michelin Man," Luke says, snorting with laughter. Alex tugs the scarf down from around his face and sticks out his tongue.

"Don't listen to him," Emily says. "I'd rather you look like the Michelin Man than freeze."

"Thanks, Mrs. P." Alex smiles and turns towards her to give her a hug. "For everything."

"Okay!" Luke's dad joins them, clutching his gloves in one hand and a brochure in the other. "I found our next activity!"

"Oh no," Luke mumbles. His dad has a knack for finding the _worst_ activities when they're on vacation but he and his mom humor him anyway.

"I was talking to a guide in the main lobby and he said that there's a nearby trail where you can rent snowshoes!" He opens the brochure and shows it to the other three. "How about that??"

Alex peeks at Luke, who mumbles under his breath again, "how about that."

"Sounds wonderful, dear." Emily gives Luke a pointed look, smiling at her husband. "Why don't you lead the way?"

As she and Mitch start off in the direction of the trail, Alex steps closer to Luke.

"What are snowshoes?" he asks quietly as they start to follow.

"I don't actually know, but it's probably not good."

❆

When Luke and Alex finally make it back to the cabin after the snowshoeing excursion, they're entirely covered in snow from head to toe and absolutely freezing. Luke's mom and dad had fared far better, despite also never having worn snowshoes before, but they had a far less cavalier attitude when it came to learning how to walk in them.

Needless to say, Alex being covered in snow was mostly Luke's fault.

While his parents had opted to use poles to help them walk, Luke had insisted that he and Alex could get by without them. He thought for sure that they'd be able to figure it out without having to use the poles even though Alex was skeptical at best. Still, he wasn't about to leave his best friend behind by being the only one to not use poles.

Ten minutes into the experience, Alex seriously regretted this decision.

"Why did I let you talk me into a _race_?" Alex groans as he and Luke struggle to get their outer layers of clothing off. "Everything hurts, why does _everything_ hurt??"

"Don't ask me," Luke whimpers in return, "I can't even think right now."

"I feel like my entire body is going to fall apart," Alex whines as he finally gets his snow pants off of his legs despite the trouble he had with the elastic around his ankles.

"Help," Luke says from where he's sprawled on the ground, lifting his foot up to Alex. He's still got his boot on. Alex huffs but helps him anyway, though he drops the boot unceremoniously onto Luke's chest when he's done. "What was that for?"

"You know what you did," Alex says as he steps over Luke, just barely choking down a high-pitched groan from stretching his overworked muscles, and heads for the living room.

Luke's dad is already in there, crouched down near the fireplace so he can turn on the gas to ignite the fire. He gestures to the couch where two large blankets are laying across the cushions, and Alex gratefully grabs one of them and wraps himself up inside of it.

"Oh, you poor things," Emily says as she appears with two steaming mugs of hot chocolate in her hands. She sets one down on the coffee table and hands the other to Alex. "Where's Luke?"

"I think he's having a bit of trouble with his boots," Alex says as he takes a small sip out of his mug. It's hot enough that it burns his lips a little, but any bit of warmth helps.

"I'll go make sure he's okay," Mitch says as he gets up from the fireplace.

Emily sighs, shaking her head. "I'm making some grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch, you stay right there and warm up, okay?"

"Thanks, Mrs. P."

A few minutes later Luke drags himself into the living room and collapses onto the couch next to Alex, whimpering like a lost puppy the whole time.

"You left me," he says grumpily as he pulls the other blanket around himself and reaches for the second mug of hot chocolate.

"You knocked me over _three times_ on the trail!"

"Not on purpose!"

Alex snorts. "The first time was totally on purpose."

Luke refuses to meet Alex's eye as he grumbles incoherently into his mug. He leans back against the couch and Alex follows suit. Within five minutes, they're leaning into each other and half-asleep from the warmth emanating from the fireplace.

"Your mom's making grilled cheeses," Alex says, his voice coming out sleepy and vaguely coherent.

"Mmm, grilled cheesus," Luke mumbles and Alex snorts.

They perk up again when Emily brings out the sandwiches, scarfing down three each before they settle back into the couch. Luke finishes his cocoa and curls into Alex's side, sighing contentedly as he does so.

"Hey, Alex?"

"Hmm?"

"I know it's your first time in Tahoe and all, but would it be cool if we just chilled for the rest of the day?"

Alex laughs. "Yeah, no worries. I don't really feel like getting pushed into another pile of snow today."

"For the record," Luke says, holding up one of his pointer fingers and putting it fairly close to Alex's face, "you started it."

❆

The following day Luke manages to convince Alex that it's the perfect day to learn how to snowboard. Alex is against this for mainly two reasons: one, he maintains that renting the equipment is too expensive on top of all of the things Luke's parents have already bought for him, and two, Luke is absolutely going to be the worst teacher ever.

"I am not!" Luke protests for the fifth time. "Mom, back me up, please??"

"We could get you both some lessons, if you--"

"No!" Luke and Alex say together, although for entirely different reasons. Luke remains adamant that he can absolutely teach Alex how to snowboard, despite the fact that the last time he snowboarded was well over two years ago.

"It's like riding a bike," he insists.

"A very flat bike that your feet are secured onto," Mitch mumbles under his breath as he turns the page in his newspaper. Alex stifles a laugh and Luke looks positively scandalized.

"I can do it, I swear." He turns to Alex and gives him the puppy dog eyes that he _knows_ Alex can't resist. "We'll stay on the bunny hills, okay?"

Alex lets him stew for a full minute before he groans loudly. "Okay, _fine_." Luke cheers and Alex quickly shuts him up. "But if this turns into another snowshoe incident, I'm taking you to the top of the mountain and leaving you there."

"Deal." Luke holds out his hand and Alex takes it, shaking it once.

"Lord have mercy," Emily murmurs.

Of course, Luke does have enough sense not to take Alex up the lift right away. They rent their boots and snowboards first, having gotten lift passes from Luke's dad the day before. It takes about an hour for them to settle on what kind of board to get for Alex, since there are several considerations they have to take into account. About halfway through the process he turns to Luke and gives him a look as if to say _are you sure this is worth it_?

"Trust me," he says in a reassuring tone as he pats Alex's back. "This'll be fun!"

"Okay," Alex replies, far from convinced.

"I'm going to show you a couple things before we get on the lift," Luke says as they make their way towards the bunny hills. "And you can practice a little bit down here if we walk a couple feet up at the bottom of the hill, out of the way of people coming down."

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

"A little faith, Alex, please!"

Alex takes a deep breath and nods. Luke smiles at him, and then promptly slams his board into the snow, wedging it so it'll stay upright. Alex flinches at the sound and stares at him with a wildly confused look in his eyes.

"What are you _doing_?"

"I can't be on my board while I teach you the basics," Luke says matter-of-factly.

"What if it gets stolen?"

"We're gonna be like, three feet away." Luke takes Alex's arm and starts pulling him up the small hill. "Relax."

Once they're a few feet up from the bottom of the hill, Luke reminds Alex how to strap his boots into the bindings on his board. Alex stares at the snow in front of them as Luke starts going over the basics, but it goes in one ear and out the other.

"Alex? Are you listening?"

"What? Sorry." Alex looks up and smiles sheepishly.

Luke crouches down and holds out his hands. "C'mon, you'll learn better on your feet anyway."

"Wh-What??" Alex shouts in surprise as Luke pulls him up to his feet and he immediately starts wobbling. Luke takes a single step back and Alex immediately tightens his grip. "Don't let go!!"

"I'm not gonna!" Luke assures him. "But first we've gotta turn you around, you can't go down the hill like this."

Alex whines nervously as Luke gently guides him around so his dominant foot is in front, and Alex yelps when his board moves all of two inches forward.

"Don't worry," Luke says. "I've got you."

"Don't. Let. Go."

"Nice and easy."

Luke starts walking down the hill while he keeps a tight grip on Alex's hands, slowly leading him down the slope at a speed he can handle. Alex wobbles back and forth on the board, but they manage to make it a couple of feet before he accidentally tips forward too much and topples both of them over.

"Sorry," he grunts as Luke groans underneath him.

"It's okay," Luke chokes out. "Not bad for a first try."

Alex rolls off of him and sighs. "You sure you wanna keep doing this?"

"Duh." Luke hops back up onto his feet and holds out his hand to Alex. "C'mon, round two."

Another hour later, and Alex is only _just_ starting to feel comfortable on the snowboard by himself. So far his best distance is about four feet before he starts wobbling and falls over.

"That was perfect!!" Luke yells as he slices his board through the snow and lands on his backside next to Alex, who's laying flat against the snow.

"I fell. Again."

"Yeah, but you went further this time," Luke says as he undoes the straps on his non-dominant foot, then reaches over to do the same for Alex. "That's progress!"

Alex groans as he lifts himself up onto his elbows. "I thought this was supposed to be fun."

"Aww, c'mon dude. Once you get the hang of it, I promise, it's fun." Luke looks over his shoulder and nods his head towards the chair lift. "Wanna try going up?"

Alex stares at him for a moment like a deer caught in headlights. He looks at the lift, then up to the top of the hill, and then back at Luke.

"I… guess?"

"That's the spirit!" Luke pushes himself up to his feet and holds his hands out to help Alex up. They make their way over to the short line at the lift, and Alex just tries to take deep breaths to calm himself down as they get closer to their turn.

Luke already explained how to get on and off the lift, but Alex watches every other person just to make sure he knows exactly what to do.

"This is nice," he says, once they're about halfway up the slope. "Scenic, you know?"

"Yeah," Luke replies as he turns to look at Alex with a smile. "Not so bad after all, huh?"

"Kinda wish I'd grabbed one of the pillows from the cabin for my butt," Alex says with a laugh. Luke laughs uproariously and Alex grins. "But yeah, it's alright."

"I told you you'd like it!"

Getting off the lift for the first time is a little more traumatic than either of them would've liked, but it's nothing compared to the outright fear that Alex feels when he's staring down from the top of the hill. Even though this is the smallest hill of the resort and considered the easiest, he's still absolutely terrified.

"What if I fall?"

"Everybody falls," Luke says. "And I'll be right behind you to help you back up."

"But what if I hit someone?"

"Then you apologize and I'll help _them_ back up too."

"Okay," Alex says softly. "I think I'm ready."

"You've got this," Luke says. "I'm right behind you."

"Okay," Alex repeats like a mantra as he nods his head. It takes another minute or two for him to actually get the courage to start, and his fear is screaming in his ears the whole time.

In spite of his nerves, Alex makes it pretty far before he starts shaking so much that he beefs it and ends up with a mouthful of snow. True to his word, Luke appears at his side seconds later to help him back up.

"You were totally getting it," he says as Alex brushes himself off. "How'd it feel?"

"Sorta cool… until I got up close and personal with the hill _again_."

Luke snorts, unable to hold back his laughter this time. Alex frowns at him. He's about to tell him off for laughing but then someone goes speeding by on a pair of skis and Luke almost knocks Alex over by trying to get out of their way.

"Sorry!" Luke says as they both steady themselves and suddenly Luke gets the feeling that they're too close. He clears his throat and then gestures towards the bottom of the hill. "Shall we?"

"Yeah," Alex says with a heavy sigh. "Let's give it another shot."

They end up going down the hill another eight times with varying degrees of success. Alex doesn't make it down a single time without falling at least once or going _way_ too slowly, even for a bunny hill. He's definitely gaining confidence as he tries again and again, but his anxiety still manages to get the best of him more times than not.

On the ninth try, as they're going up in the lift, they come to an agreement that this will be their last run. They've been at it for hours at this point and both of them are really feeling the effects of spending more than half the time on their butts.

Alex seems really determined to get it right this time, Luke can see it on his face. He's found himself staring at Alex more times than not when they ride the lift up the hill, and he's not really sure why. Obviously when they're going down the hill he _has_ to keep his eyes on Alex to make sure he's paying attention in case he falls. But now he could be looking at literally anything else - and there's a hell of a lot to look at - but still he just keeps turning back to Alex.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" Alex asks, snapping Luke out of his daydreams.

"Huh?"

"I can't really feel my face," Alex goes on, pawing at his face with his gloved hand. "I probably should've brought that scarf, huh?"

"Your face is perfect," Luke says, only realizing what he's said after it comes out, "perfectly fine!" He clears his throat. "Nothing on it. You're good."

"Okay," Alex says, eyeing Luke warily. "I think you need something to eat, dude. You're losing it."

"Yeah, probably."

Luke tries not to think about it too much as they get off the lift and fasten their bindings for the last time.

"I've got a good feeling about this," Alex says as he lifts himself up.

"Yeah? Good." Luke offers him a smile and gestures for him to go first. "All you, bro."

Alex exhales sharply and then starts his descent, a little slow at first but he quickly picks up speed. Luke follows about a foot and a half behind, trying to keep his mind clear and focus on Alex's safety over whatever else is going on with his head right now.

He keeps expecting Alex to go too fast or to turn too sharply and fall over, but he doesn't. He makes it all the way to the bottom of the hill without falling.

"I DID IT!!" Alex shouts happily, pumping his fists into the air.

"That was amazing!" Luke yells as he comes to a stop right next to him. "You killed it!"

He pulls Alex into a hug despite the fact that they're both still fully strapped into their snowboards and it's absolutely a recipe for disaster. Somehow they manage not to fall over while hugging, but a new challenge arises when Alex starts to pull back.

Luke doesn't want to let go.

But before things can get too awkward, their hug is interrupted by someone shouting too little too late and before either of them realize what's happening, they've been knocked to the ground.

"Ow--" Alex groans.

"Dude, what the hell?!" Luke shoves the person who ran into them, who's now lying on the ground between him and Alex.

"I'm so sorry--" he says as he tries to get up, but their snowboards make it increasingly difficult for any of them to get away from each other. "I couldn't stop but I tried to, and--"

"You could've killed us!" Luke says angrily.

"Luke, that's…" Alex sighs sharply. "It's fine, nothing's broken, I think."

The stranger finally manages to get himself untangled and scoots a little further away from them, taking his helmet off in the process. Luke glares at him, but out of the corner of his eye he can see the look on Alex's face and it's nowhere near as angry as Luke thinks it should be.

"I'm Alex, by the way."

"Willie," the stranger replies, holding out his hand. Alex shakes it but Luke staunchly refuses. "Sorry again, guys. Totally my fault."

"You think?" Luke grumbles, crossing his arms as he glares at Willie.

"That's Luke," Alex says in a pointed tone. "He's really hungry. He's _usually_ nicer than this."

"I mean, I did just knock you both over," Willie says with a laugh. "I totally get it."

"We should get going," Luke says loudly as he starts roughly yanking on the bindings of his snowboard to free his feet. "My mom's probably waiting on us."

"You guys staying at the resort?" Willie asks as they all get back up on their feet.

"Yeah," Alex answers brightly before Luke can tell him to mind his own business. "What about you?"

"I'm staying with my uncle, he's got a place not too far from here." Willie leans on his board and smiles at the both of them. "How long are you here for?"

"We're--"

"We've gotta go," Luke says as he grabs Alex's arm and starts pulling him away.

"Luke!" Alex hisses as he tries to pull away, but Luke's grip is too tight. "Nice meeting you!" he shouts back.

"Likewise!" Willie calls in return, waving as Luke drags Alex away.

"Dude, what the _hell_?" Alex says once he's finally able to get his arm out of Luke's death grip. "What was that?"

"What?"

"You were totally rude!"

"I was?!" Luke scoffs. "He ran into us, remember?!"

"It was an accident! He apologized!"

"He shouldn't have been going that fast," Luke grumbles. "Not on a bunny hill. No wonder his dumbass helmet was cracked."

"It was?" Alex looks over his shoulder. "Do you think he's okay?"

"That's--" Luke groans. "That's not the point!"

"What's the point?! You were acting like a total dick!"

"Nothing," Luke snaps. "Let's just go."

Alex huffs but doesn't argue any further, and the two make their way back to the cabin in silence apart from the crunch of snow under their feet.

❆

Even after they've had lunch, Luke is still in a bad mood. It bleeds into the rest of the afternoon and into the evening, which makes the atmosphere inside the cabin unnecessarily tense. Even though both of Luke's parents can clearly tell that something happened between them, neither of them get involved. They both know all too well how stubborn their son can be and that it's best to just let him figure himself out when he's in a mood like this.

The problem is that Luke doesn't know how to get himself out of this one. He's never felt anything like this before and it's driving him crazy. When he gets like this the one person he'd normally talk to is Alex but he _can't_ talk to Alex about this. He knows it has something to do with Alex but he can't put his finger on it, which just further fuels his anger and makes everything worse.

As badly as he wants to make this all go away, he just can't do it.

This isn't the perfect holiday that he'd planned it to be. Luke wanted everything to go well so Alex would be happy and he'd get the Christmas he deserved, and now here he was ruining it.

He wakes up the next morning feeling guilty and exhausted, like he'd barely slept at all. It's Christmas Eve and Luke knows he needs to put this anger aside and make it up to Alex, but he hasn't got a clue how to do it.

Luke slips out of their shared room before Alex wakes up, shuffling his feet on his way to the kitchen as he agonizes over his behavior. He's not expecting to see anyone up this early so he's surprised to find his mom already in the kitchen filling up the pot to brew coffee.

"You're up early," she says, smiling at her son until she realizes he's still fairly grumpy.

"Morning," he says as he slumps down onto one of the stools at the kitchen island.

Emily sighs a little as she finishes transferring the water into the coffee maker. A moment later she turns around and puts her hands on her hips, which immediately puts Luke on edge.

"What is this attitude, Luke?" she asks. "Don't think I didn't notice that you and Alex weren't speaking to each other all last night."

"I don't--"

"It's Christmas Eve," Emily continues, "and I will not have you spoiling the holiday with this sour mood of yours."

Luke deflates, frowning as he dramatically drapes himself across the countertop of the kitchen island. He should've known better; there's no way his mom was going to let him get away with this for longer than half a day.

"What happened?" she asks.

"Nothing," Luke says.

"Luke Patterson, do not lie to your mother."

"No, Mom, really!" Luke groans, "nothing. I don't know what happened, or why I feel like this! I just…" he groans again and presses his face down against the countertop. "I hate it."

Silence follows Luke's admission, and when he finally lifts his head up he sees his mom isn't facing him anymore. His brow furrows in confusion but then he sees that she's making a cup of hot cocoa and he finds himself relaxing a little.

A few minutes later, she puts out two steaming mugs of hot cocoa in front of Luke and offers him a smile.

"I think you need to apologize to Alex for the way you've acted," she says.

"But, Mom--"

"Even if you don't know why," she interrupts, "you know you haven't been a good friend. It's important to take responsibility for your behavior."

Luke groans loudly, trying to resist agreeing with her. Deep down he knows she's right but he really doesn't want to admit it. Emily pushes both of the mugs closer to Luke and nods her head in the direction of the hallway that leads to the bedroom they share.

"Go on. No time like the present."

Luke finally pulls himself up so he's sitting properly on the stool, and holds eye contact with his mom for a full minute before he relents.

"Okay," he mumbles. He reaches for the mugs and Emily puts her hand on top of his.

"I love you."

Luke softens. "Love you too, Mom."

A few minutes later, Luke gently nudges the door open with his foot and finds Alex awake but still in bed. He visibly tenses when Luke comes in, but he doesn't say anything.

"I brought cocoa," Luke says lamely.

"I see that."

Luke comes further into the room and holds out one of the mugs towards Alex, who pauses with his hand out.

"Did you make it?"

"No, my mom did."

"Okay." Alex takes the mug and makes a bit of room so that Luke can sit at the foot of his bed.

"I'm sorry," Luke says, "for yesterday. I… I don't know why I was such a jerk."

Alex looks down at his mug, staying silent as he takes a tentative sip. Luke knows that Alex is waiting for him to continue, but he doesn't know what else he should say.

"I shouldn't have been so mean to Willie, even if he did run into us." Alex snorts. "Sorry. I just… I felt like he ruined the moment, you know? We didn't get to celebrate your run."

"That's why you were mad?" Alex asks, his voice full of disbelief.

"Yeah…" Luke says, even though he knows it's not the whole reason. He still isn't sure what the whole reason is, but this will have to do for now.

Alex snickers. "You're such an idiot." He shakes his head and takes another sip of his cocoa. "I don't even know why you're my best friend."

"Shut up, dude," Luke says as he smacks Alex's leg where it's still hidden under his blanket.

"I'm sorry too," Alex says after a moment. "I should've tried harder yesterday to make it right."

"You don't need to apologize."

"Yeah, but…" Alex shrugs. "I'm sorry anyway."

Luke cracks a smile and holds out his mug towards Alex. He smiles back, clinking their mugs together and they both laugh. After they've both taken sips of cocoa, Alex looks down at his mug and clears his throat.

"Your mom yelled at you, didn't she?"

"I…" Luke's voice comes out much higher than usual, "... don't have to answer that."

❆

After spending the first part of the day cooped up in the cabin, Luke and Alex venture back out into the cold and decide to wander around the resort. Despite having been here for three days, they really haven't explored any of it. In fact, they only _just_ found out that their cabin has a back patio with a hot tub (which, apparently, Luke's parents discovered the first day and just neglected to tell them about it).

Upon their arrival to the main part of the resort, they discover a Christmas Eve market. Countless stalls are set up with local artisans selling their wares along with a few food tents selling warm beverages and bites to eat.

It's certainly not what they were expecting to find, but it's a welcome distraction from the impending boredom of their afternoon.

Their first stop is at the tent that's selling hot cider, because Luke forgot his gloves back at the cabin and had been too stubborn to turn around to grab them. Alex rolls his eyes but gets a cider anyway, and the two continue on to peruse the market's treasures.

"This is perfect!" Alex says as they pause at a booth that's selling handmade jewelry. "I can find something for your parents, to say thank you."

"You don't have to do that," Luke says.

"I know," Alex says, shrugging his shoulders as he looks at the jewelry. "But I want to."

They move on from that booth to another that's selling art prints, and as Alex thumbs through one of the boxes Luke stands on his tiptoes to hook his chin over Alex's shoulder.

"What about me? Do I get something?"

"I don't have to get your parents anything, but I have to get _you_ a present?"

"Duh."

Alex laughs, jostling his shoulder so Luke pulls back. "You're an idiot."

"You're not saying no," Luke says in a teasing tone. "Maybe we should split up for a while, so it's a surprise."

"I didn't say I was getting you anything!" Alex protests.

"That's not what I heard!" Luke says as he pretends to cover his ears, slowly backing away to go look at another booth.

Luke chuckles to himself as he passes by a couple tents, tossing his empty cider cup into a trash can before settling on one that's selling ornaments. The seller is an older woman who smiles at him as he steps up to the main table, looking at the ornaments spread out across its surface.

"Looking for something special?" she asks.

"Sort of," he says. "It's for my best friend."

"I see." The woman smiles again and gestures to her wares. "Take your time."

"Thanks." Luke gives her a sheepish smile and stuffs his hands in his pockets as he starts studying the ornaments a little closer, trying to figure out if there's anything here that Alex would even like.

There's a bunch of standard Christmas ones; Santa Clause, snow-flocked trees, even a sleigh. But he moves over to the section of quirky items, finding various food-related ornaments and funky shapes. As funny as some of them are to him, he's not convinced he'll find anything for Alex until he sees a small glass rainbow.

He carefully picks it up and gives it a closer look, turning it over in his hands. Just a few seconds ago he didn't even know what he was really looking for, let alone if he would find it. And now, it seems like this was waiting for him the whole time.

As Luke continues to stare at the ornament in his hands, he suddenly remembers the day that Alex came out to him. He'd been acting weird for weeks and Luke knew something was going on but he didn't know what. Alex explained later that he'd been slightly worried that Luke wouldn't take it well and they'd stop being friends, and Luke remembers how hurt he'd been.

He can't imagine a world where he's not friends with Alex. They do everything together. When something good happens, Alex is the first person he wants to tell. When something bad happens, he knows he can count on Alex to be there for him.

Luke starts to feel a weirdness in his chest, and it's similar to what he felt yesterday when he was hugging Alex. His chest feels full, but not tight like it's hard to breathe, just… full. Despite the cold air all around him there's a warmth radiating across his skin.

"Find something you like?"

The woman's voice snaps Luke out of his thoughts and he clears his throat, smiling awkwardly as he hands over the ornament.

"How much?" he asks, realizing he hadn't actually looked at the small tag attached to the string.

"Normally, $20." The woman tilts her head and smiles at him. "But for you, I'll do $10."

Luke smiles widely and quickly reaches for his wallet, pulling out a few crumpled bills that amount to $10. She carefully wraps up the ornament in some tissue paper and puts it into a little giftbox, handing it over while Luke trades the money for it.

"Thank you," he says as he carefully puts it in his pocket.

"Thank _you_." The woman smiles again. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," Luke replies before he turns away from the booth and starts heading back in the direction where he came from.

The ornament burns a hole in his pocket as he makes his way through the crowd, keeping an eye out for Alex. The market has gotten a little busier in the time they've been apart, so it takes a few minutes for him to spot Alex amongst all the other people wandering around.

"Alex!" he calls, trying to grab his attention before he makes it through the crowd.

Alex turns around, catching Luke's eye and waving. Luke smiles and goes to wave back, but then he sees who's standing next to Alex and he pauses as his heart suddenly sinks.

It's Willie.

"There you are!" Alex says as Luke finally makes his way over to them. "Look who I ran into!"

"Hey dude!" Willie says brightly.

"Hey," Luke replies, his tone of voice far less excited than either of theirs. He's trying his best not to slip into the same bad mood as yesterday, but it's a lot harder than he thought it would be.

"Willie was just telling me about this party tonight."

"Party?"

"Yeah!" Willie smiles. "It's at my uncle's place. You two should totally come!"

"Oh, I don't…" Luke pauses as both Alex and Willie stare at him. "My parents might not be cool with us going. Since it's Christmas Eve and all…"

"It's cool," Willie says, still smiling. "I totally get it. Family time."

"Maybe they'd let us go for an hour?" Alex asks. "Doesn't hurt to ask, right?"

"Yeah! I could give you the address and stuff, if you wanted."

"Luke?" Alex looks to him for an answer, and Luke sighs as he tries to put on a smile.

"Yeah, sure. Why not?"

"Cool," Alex says, smiling brightly at Luke before he turns to Willie, who starts explaining how to get to his uncle's place from the resort. Luke tunes it out and puts his hands in his pockets, his hand closing around the box holding Alex's present.

He tries to hold onto the feeling he had before, but it slips through his fingers just as quickly as snow melts in the sun.

❆

Luke keeps quiet on the way back to the cabin. There's too good of a chance that he'll say something stupid and start another fight if he opens his mouth, so it's better for him to just say nothing at all. It's a relief that Alex doesn't seem to notice anything's wrong, but Luke can't deny that the happiness that Alex is radiating is making his sour mood even worse.

It's not that he's angry, per se. He'd definitely been angry the day before and he knows full well what that sort of anger feels like. This is different. Now he just feels sad. And, if he's being honest with himself, lonely.

The more he thinks about it, the clearer things become. He's been friends with Alex long enough to know that what he's feeling isn't how he used to feel towards him. Something along the way changed for Luke and while he doesn't know when it happened, it doesn't really matter. It's here now and he has to deal with it, for better or worse.

And right now, it's just a whole lot of worse.

Luke's jealous. He's jealous of some random boy that literally crashed into their lives a day ago and, for all intents and purposes, they may never see again after this trip is over. He has literally no reason to be jealous of his best friend making friends with someone new, and yet… he is. There's only one reason for it, even if Luke doesn't want to admit it aloud just yet.

He's having trouble even admitting it to himself, because it opens up a whole lot of doors that Luke isn't sure if he wants to explore. If he admits it, even once, there's no turning back.

On the other hand, it certainly doesn't seem like it's going away any time soon, so he might as well just do it and get it over with.

He has feelings for Alex. In the sort of way he never thought he would.

This sort of thing had never even crossed his mind before. When Alex came out to him a few months ago, Luke had just been happy that Alex trusted him enough to tell him the truth. Nothing changed then, so why did it have to happen now?

The real kicker of this whole situation was the realization that Alex probably didn't feel the same way about him. Just because Alex is gay doesn't mean he's also in love with his best friend. Luke surely would've noticed something like that by now, wouldn't he?

He's just going to have to accept that this is how it's going to be for a while. Maybe (hopefully) his feelings will eventually go away and he can go back to normal around Alex. Until that happens, Luke is going to have to work extra hard at not being so sensitive about everything.

Which means… he's really going to have to try and be nice to Willie. It's not Willie's fault he's been dragged into the middle of all of this, it's entirely Luke's fault. He has to accept that regardless of how long Willie will be around, it's very clear that Alex wants him around.

If Willie is who makes Alex happy, then Luke is just going to have to accept it.

They return to the cabin at the same time as Luke's parents get back from their own outing, and the four of them pile in through the front door to start shedding layers of winter clothing. Luke moves at a snail's pace compared to the other three, which leaves him still taking his boots off by the time the others have finished.

"Did you have a nice time?" Luke's mom asks as she heads for the kitchen.

"Yeah," Alex says, answering for both of them once he sees that Luke isn't finished taking his outer layer of clothing off yet. "The market was cool."

"We passed by, it looked very nice, didn't it, Mitch?"

Mitch clears his throat and nods in agreement. "Find anything you liked?" he asks as he settles down in a chair in the living room. Alex starts describing some of the booths he looked at, but Luke ends up tuning it out.

He puts his hand in his jacket pocket and feels the small box that holds the ornament he bought for Alex, feeling worse than ever. Instead of taking it out, he zips the pocket shut and shrugs off his jacket, hanging it up next to the others before joining Alex and his dad in the living room.

"And, we ran into this guy we met yesterday, too!" Alex says, smiling at Luke as he sits down on the couch next to him.

"Oh?" Emily comes into the living room and takes the remaining empty chair. "You didn't tell us you made a friend yesterday."

Luke snorts and Alex laughs sheepishly.

"Well… it's kind of a funny story," Alex explains. As he recounts the events of the previous day, Luke feels his mom's eyes on him. He can't bring himself to look at her, but it doesn't matter anyway. He's sure she can see right through him and knows exactly why he was in such a foul mood the day before.

"Spending the holiday with his uncle, hmm?" Mitch says after Alex's finished the story.

"That's nice," Emily adds.

"Yeah, umm…" Alex shoots a nervous look at Luke, but doesn't wait for him to say or do anything before he just blurts out, "actually, they're having a party tonight."

"Oh?"

Luke snaps his head to look at Alex, but it's too late.

"Willie invited us, but we said since it's Christmas Eve we probably wouldn't--"

"You guys probably have something planned already, right?" Luke interrupts, glancing back and forth between his parents. They share a look, each one shrugging their shoulders and Luke tries not to react, but he already knows what's coming.

"I think we can spare you two for a while after dinner," Mitch says. Luke's heart sinks.

"Just as long as you're not out too late," Emily adds.

"No, yeah! Of course!" Alex grins. "You guys are the best."

"Yeah," Luke echoes, trying to sound more enthusiastic than he feels in the moment. "The best."

❆

Luke's mood has only marginally improved over the last few hours. He put on a smile on for dinner and did his best to contribute to the conversation, but he suspects that it wasn't that good of a show. He avoided making eye contact with his mom for basically the entire meal because he knew she'd be able to see right through him if he did.

By some miracle he's managed to avoid being alone with her all evening to avoid another heart to heart like they had this morning. If she cornered him again there's no way he'd be able to keep his newly realized feelings towards Alex a secret from her, and that's definitely not a conversation he's ready to have with her.

Alex, on the other hand, is entirely normal. Maybe a little more nervous than usual, but far more normal than Luke can manage. He agonizes over his outfit for a full half an hour after dinner while Luke is perfectly content to wear the same thing he's been wearing all day to the party.

"Am I trying too hard?" Alex asks as he turns to Luke for the hundredth time for his opinion.

"Yes," Luke answers deadpan.

"I'm _serious_."

"So am I," Luke says, laughing a little. Maybe if he makes a joke of the whole situation, he'll feel better. "What do you care what these people think?"

"I don't," Alex replies quickly as he turns back to the mirror. "I just thought… you know. It's a party. On Christmas Eve. I should look… festive." He looks at Luke through the mirror with an anxious look. "Shouldn't I?"

"You look fine," Luke says as he pushes himself up and off his bed. "We should get going if we're going to make it there before midnight."

"Right. Yeah. Okay, I'm ready." Alex takes a deep breath and turns around, joining Luke as they exit the room.

"Have fun!" Emily calls as they head towards the front door to put on their coats.

"Not too late, Luke," Mitch says.

"I know," he replies, zipping up his jacket and grabbing his hat before he reaches for the doorknob.

"See you later!" Alex says brightly as Luke opens the door, letting him go first.

As soon as they're outside, Alex shivers violently and stuffs his hands in his pockets. "It's… uhh, a lot colder at night, huh?"

Luke snorts. "C'mon, dude. Let's go."

It takes about twenty minutes for them to get to Willie's uncle's place, given that it's on the other side of the resort. The directions he gave to Alex are detailed enough that it's easy to find, though they discover that even if they hadn't been they absolutely would've known where the party was.

They can hear the music before they even see the place, and when they _do_ they both stop in their tracks. They've seen their fair share of mansions from living in LA but this is entirely different. This time, they're actually going _inside_.

"Are we sure Willie's uncle isn't like… _somebody_?" Luke says to Alex as they cautiously approach it.

"I… don't know. Maybe?" Alex replies in an equally nervous tone. "What if we can't find Willie?"

"Think they'll kick us out? Dude, what if there are like, bouncers or something?"

"I didn't even think of that," Alex says as he starts nervously running his hand through his hair. "What if they don't let us in? We don't even know Willie's last name!"

"It'll be fine," Luke says as he gently puts his hand on Alex's wrist. "If they don't let us in, then we'll go back to the cabin. No harm, no foul."

"Right. Yeah." Alex shrugs in a way that's meant to look casual but Luke can totally tell he's still freaking out. "It'll be fine."

Luke snorts. "C'mon, let's go."

Despite the freezing temperatures, the front door is wide open when Luke and Alex approach. Luke gestures for Alex to go first, but then he returns the gesture and they spend a few seconds silently arguing back and forth as to who's crossing the threshold first. Luke eventually grabs Alex's arm and shoves him to the front, walking them both through the door and into the throng of people.

"What now?" Alex asks, already having to half-shout over the din of the music.

"Maybe find Willie?" Luke suggests, even though all he really wants to do is turn right around and go home. Preferably with Alex.

Alex nods and Luke lets go of his arm, but Alex catches his wrist and keeps a tight grip as he starts to lead them through the crowd. Luke is thankful that Alex keeps his eyes forward rather than turning around to look at him, though he'd probably be able to write off the flush in his cheeks to the change in temperature.

They somehow find their way to the kitchen, which is absolutely the largest kitchen either of them have ever seen. The island is absolutely _covered_ in various bottles of varying liquor and several tubs filled with both cans and bottles of all types of beer.

"D-Do you want a drink?" Alex asks, turning his head to look at Luke.

"Y-Yeah?" Luke says. "I guess?"

"I mean, you don't have to. _We_ don't have to," Alex says quickly. "I just thought…"

"When in Rome, right?" Luke says, stepping around Alex and reaching for the closest can of beer. He's gotten drunk once or twice at house parties back home, but it's not really one of his favorite pastimes. Alex follows his lead, grabbing a similar can, but they both stare awkwardly at the other instead of actually opening either of their cans.

Luke's about to suggest maybe this was a bad idea, that they should just head home and forget the whole thing, when suddenly they're both accosted.

"You made it!!" Willie says happily. He's thrown his arms around both Luke and Alex and jostles them a little.

"We've been looking for you," Alex says, looking relieved.

"How long have you been here?" Willie says, and then he notices the cans in their hands. "Oh, sick! Did you find something you like?"

"Yeah, it's… great." Luke brandishes the can and Willie's face falls a little.

"Do… you not drink? It's cool, bro, you don't have to--"

"No, this is great!" Luke says as he cracks open his can and takes a big gulp. He tries to hide his wince as he swallows, putting on a brave face and a fake smile. "My favorite."

"Alright, dude." Willie laughs, the smile returning to his face. "Oh! You guys should meet my uncle, come this way!"

Alex immediately follows, giving Luke a weird look as he gestures for him to follow. Luke glares at both of their backs but still follows regardless.

Willie strikes up a conversation with Alex as they walk, but Luke hangs too far back to catch any of it. By the time they reach their destination, he's already drunk more than half the beer in his can. Willie leads them to a distant part of the house that's a little quieter than the main throng of the party, and Luke immediately feels even more out of place.

"William!" An older guy breaks off from the group gathered around a table and joins their trio, smiling warmly at Willie. "Who do we have here?"

"These are the guys I told you about! This is Alex, and that's Luke." Willie smiles widely. "Guys, this is my uncle, Caleb."

"Pleasure to meet you both," Caleb says as he extends his hand to Alex.

"Nice to meet you, sir." Alex chuckles nervously, switching the can to his left hand as he shakes Caleb's. It's then that he realizes that he is _underage_ and holding _alcohol_ in front of an actual _adult_ , and he balks. "I--"

"Don't worry about it," Caleb says with a wink. "You're not driving, are you?"

"No, sir."

"Then what's one drink among friends?" Caleb opens his arms wide. "It's Christmas!"

Luke snorts loudly, catching the attention of the other three.

"Not feeling festive, I take it?"

"I've never felt more _festive_ ," Luke replies. Alex looks positively scandalized while Willie hides a laugh behind his hand. Caleb, however, looks entirely unphased.

"Please, make yourselves at home," he says, turning away from Luke. "Any friend of William's is a friend of mine."

Luke, to his credit, waits for Caleb to turn his back before he makes a face. Unfortunately, Alex catches it and by the looks of his face, he's less than impressed.

"Dude," he hisses, "what is your problem?"

"Problem? I don't have a problem." Luke puts his can up to his mouth and finishes off the last bit of his beer, and then swaps it out for the one in Alex's hand before he can stop him.

"Maybe you should slow down?" Willie says cautiously. "You don't have to--"

"I'm fine," Luke snaps. "I'm going to go _enjoy_ the party." He salutes them both with the can of beer in his hand and then turns on his heel, disappearing back into the crowd.

He'd be lying if he said he wasn't hoping Alex would follow, but he's not surprised when he doesn't. Luke would probably ditch himself if he were Alex. He's back to being the biggest jerk in the world and he can't stop himself.

Luke spends the next hour wandering aimlessly around the party, occasionally finding his way back to the kitchen for another drink. He takes it slow with his drinks after the first, but he still probably has far more than he should.

At one point he finds himself upstairs and makes his way outside, facing a spectacular view of the lake. There are a few other people out on the balcony, but Luke sticks to a far corner so he can keep to himself. He brushes snow off of a chair and sits down, setting his can down on the floor and putting his hands in his pockets to keep them warm.

Well, he tries to put both hands in his pockets. He finds one of them zipped closed, and after he unzips it he remembers why it was zipped in the first place. Alex's present is still there, all wrapped up in its box.

Luke takes it out of his pocket and stares at the box for a moment before he opens it, taking the ornament out and placing it in the palm of his hand. He suddenly has the desire to crush it, to stomp on it with his foot, or maybe just throw it over the railing and forget all about it. But he doesn't. He can't.

Instead, he puts it back in the box with painstaking care and puts it back in his pocket. He leans back in his chair and blinks furiously as his eyes well up, feeling equal parts stupid and ashamed.

He doesn't know how he's even going to begin to apologize to Alex for the way he's acted tonight. He hates himself for turning what was supposed to be the perfect holiday into one giant nightmare for absolutely no reason. All he's done is feel sorry for himself and pick fights with his best friend and for what??

Luke sighs, closing his eyes as he tips his head back against the chair. Honestly, he wouldn't blame Alex if he never wanted to speak to him again.

❆

The sound of a door closing sharply snaps Luke out of a light sleep, and he realizes that he is _absolutely freezing_. He hadn't meant to fall asleep at all, let alone outside in the snow. He scrambles to his feet, almost kicking over the can he'd left next to the chair, and quickly makes his way back inside.

According to a clock he passes on his way back downstairs, it's already past eleven. He stumbles a little as he walks, obviously still a little drunk. The voice in the back of his head tells him that he should head for the kitchen and get some water before he tries finding Alex. Luke ends up listening to that voice and heads in that direction, but he hardly gets past the doorway before he finds exactly who he was looking for.

Alex and Willie are at the opposite end of the kitchen, but Luke spots them immediately even through a crowd of people. They're clearly deep in conversation, and Willie must've said something funny because Alex is laughing. But what Luke pays attention to the most is how _close_ they are to each other.

In that moment, it doesn't matter that Luke told himself he was going to try and be happy for Alex if Willie was who he wanted. In that moment Luke's entire body is overrun by hurt and anger. His grip tightens so quickly that he crushes the can in his hand, spilling the remnants of beer that was still in it onto the kitchen floor.

He's about to storm over there, likely to cause a huge scene, when a hand lands on his shoulder and Luke freezes in place.

"Is there a reason why you're glaring daggers at my dear nephew and your friend?" Caleb asks as he gently turns Luke towards him. He looks Luke up and down, taking particular notice of the crushed can in his hand.

"I'm not," Luke answers gruffly.

Caleb chuckles. "You're not very convincing. Nor are you very subtle."

Luke's frown grows as he stares Caleb down. He didn't like him all that much before and his feelings certainly aren't changing with this interaction.

"I don't know what you're talking about--" Luke says, intending to push Caleb's hand off of his shoulder and get as far away from him as possible. But he pauses when Caleb pushes something cold into his empty hand, and when he looks down he sees it's a bottle of water.

"Drink," Caleb urges. Luke looks back up at him with a glare, but Caleb doesn't back down. "I think you could use it." He holds out his hand expectantly, his eyes darting down to the crushed can.

Luke scowls but passes the can to Caleb and opens the bottle of water, taking a large gulp from it while continuing to stare at Caleb. "Happy?" he asks, panting a little after he pulls the bottle away from his mouth.

"Ecstatic." Caleb clears his throat, setting the can aside and linking his fingers together. "Now, why don't you tell me what's going on?"

"Why? I don't even know you."

"Well, I've welcomed you into my home, let you partake from my table, and perhaps stopped you from making a fool of yourself in front of a hundred-odd strangers."

"I--"

"And," Caleb continues, ignoring Luke's protest, "considering I'm likely partially to blame for the outburst I've prevented, I thought you might need an ear."

Luke stares at him in confusion. "Who even _are_ you, dude?"

Caleb laughs. "Just a concerned uncle." He puts his hand back on Luke's shoulder and sighs. "I'm very protective of my nephew, and it seems like you're not entirely fond of him."

Luke frowns. "I don't--"

"And I think I know why," Caleb says as he glances over at Alex and Willie. "Afraid of losing your… _friend_ , are we?"

Luke's eyes go wide. "I… what? I didn't--"

"Don't worry," Caleb says as he pats Luke's shoulder. "It's our little secret. But, if you don't mind, may I give you a piece of advice?"

"Y-Yeah," Luke says, suddenly feeling like he's three years old again and being scolded for drawing on the walls with crayon.

"Don't go picking fights when a few honest words will remedy the situation."

Luke blinks. "What?"

"Talk to your friend." Caleb chuckles. "Don't bottle everything up. And… drink the rest of that water before you go."

"O-Okay." Luke looks down at the bottle and sighs heavily. "Sorry. About before."

"Don't worry about it. All's forgiven." Caleb smiles and Luke takes another gulp of water.

"You're a weird dude," he says, and Caleb laughs loudly.

"So I've been told." He claps Luke on the shoulder and gives him a gentle shove towards Alex and Willie. "Merry Christmas!"

Alex spots Luke before he fully makes it over to him and Willie, and he immediately steps forward with a look of concern.

"Dude, where have you _been_?" he asks, taking in the melted snow on Luke's jacket. "Were you outside?? Luke, what the--"

"We should go," Luke says, avoiding eye contact with Alex as he turns to look at Willie. "Thanks for inviting us, but we've got a curfew."

"No problem, dude. Thanks for coming!" He holds out his fist and Luke weakly knocks his own against it. "I'll look you guys up next time I'm down south."

"Cool," Luke mumbles as Alex says his own goodbye to Willie. Luke turns away, drinking more water as Caleb catches his eye from across the room. He winks at Luke and mouths _talk to him_ before Luke looks away.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Alex asks as he turns back to Luke, zipping his jacket up as the two start making their way to the front door.

"No, I'm not," Luke mumbles under his breath.

❆

No more than ten seconds after they've walked out the front door, Alex starts peppering Luke with questions about where he's been this whole time.

"I looked for you, _we_ looked for you all over!"

"Uh huh," Luke replies, staring down at his feet as he trudges through the snow on the ground. The din of the party fades the further away they walk from the house, until the sound of their footsteps and Alex's constant chatter is the only thing Luke can hear.

"I was really worried! You were acting so weird and I didn't know what to think, and--"

"Yeah, you seemed all broken up about it," Luke mumbles. He probably didn't _actually_ mean to say it aloud but it came out anyway. It was clear that Alex heard every word, because he immediately stopped in his tracks and went quiet.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Alex asks.

Luke stops, keeping his back turned to Alex for a moment as he takes a deep breath. "Nothing, okay?" He glances back at Alex over his shoulder and sighs. "Can we just go?"

"No. No, not until you tell me what's going on with you."

" _Nothing_ ," Luke says with an annoyed groan as he turns to face Alex. "It's nothing, can we just--"

"It's not nothing!" Alex shouts, his voice coming out a little hysterical and catching Luke entirely off guard. "I can't take it anymore, Luke. One minute you're totally fine and the next you're acting so completely out of it that… that…" Alex shakes his head. "It's like I don't even know who you are anymore."

"You're making way too big of a deal out of this, dude."

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you are!"

"No!" Alex shouts, taking a step closer to Luke. "You don't get to tell me that I'm making a big deal when you disappear for hours, okay?! I looked and looked--"

"Yeah?" Luke interrupts. "For how long? How long did you look before you gave up and decided you'd rather just hang out with Willie, huh?"

"That's not…" Alex blinks. "Are you-- is that what this is about?"

Luke shrinks back a little and crosses his arms. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Are you--" Alex clenches his fists and groans angrily. "You've got to be kidding me!" He stomps his feet in the snow. "Are you seriously mad about me making friends with Willie?"

"No," Luke grumbles.

"Yes, you are, don't lie to me!"

"I'm not lying!" Luke shouts before he turns around and storms off. Alex immediately starts after him; he's not about to let Luke run away again.

"You're totally lying! What, am I not allowed to have other friends or something?"

"Yeah, like Willie is _just a friend_ ," Luke snaps as he tries to pick up his pace. Alex has longer legs than he does so he knows he's going to have to move a lot faster if he has any chance of actually getting away from him.

"What did you just say?" Alex grabs a hold of Luke's jacket at the shoulder, making him come to a stop.

"You heard me," Luke says as he shakes Alex's hand off. "You've been flirting with him since the moment you met him, don't even try to deny it."

"I haven't--" Alex's eyes well up with tears and his voice comes out shaky. "Is that what this is about?"

"What?" Luke asks, his anger still bleeding through the tone of his voice.

"Do you…" Alex sniffs, dabbing at his eyes with the cuff of his jacket, "does it really bother you that much? Seeing me with a guy?"

"I just--"

"I thought you were different," Alex continues, dropping his gaze down to the ground. "I didn't think you'd be like _them_."

It takes a moment for realization to hit, and when it does, Luke feels like he's just been run over by a truck. He's mistaken the root of Luke's anger for disgust instead of jealousy. He thinks that Luke doesn't want to see him with Willie because he doesn't want to be reminded that his best friend is gay.

"Alex," Luke says, his voice immediately soft as he tries to rectify the situation, "that's not it, not at all."

"Then what is it?!" Alex yells as tears fall from his eyes. "You… you've just been so weird and angry and you keep shutting me out and I… I don't…"

Luke quickly pulls Alex into a hug, feeling an overwhelming rush of guilt for ever letting Alex think for a moment that anything was wrong with being who he is. Alex cries into Luke's shoulder and Luke just holds on tighter.

"I'm sorry," he whispers. "I'm so, so sorry."

Alex lets Luke hold him for a moment, but then he pulls away and gives Luke a hard shove.

"Dude, what the hell?!"

"Don't just apologize!" Alex shouts, giving Luke another shove for good measure. "Tell me what the hell's been going on with you!"

"I--"

"Tell me why you've been such a dick! Why you were so rude to Willie, and why you disappeared, and--"

"Because I was jealous, okay?!" Luke shouts, startling Alex into silence. He sighs heavily and runs his hands through his hair. "I just… I've been jealous of Willie this whole time, okay?"

"Jealous?" Alex says after a few seconds. "Of Willie?"

"Yeah," Luke sighs.

"Did you… think I was going to replace you with him? That we'd stop being best friends just because we met some other guy?" Alex gives Luke a confused look and in return Luke just groans.

"No, that's… that's not it."

"I don't understand," Alex rubs at his eyes with the back of his hand. "Why would you be jealous of Willie?"

"Because I like you," Luke says with a rush of breath. "Okay? I _like_ you."

Alex blinks. They stare at each other for a few seconds and every one that passes by feels like a lifetime to Luke.

"And… and I didn't think you liked me back because you were flirting with Willie, okay?" Luke starts rambling, "I don't have a good reason for it, okay? I know I've been stupid, I know I've been the biggest jerk of all time, but I like you, Alex. And I know you probably hate me right now and you have every reason to, but--"

"Luke--"

"--you asked and I can't keep it a secret anymore, not when--"

" _Luke_ \--"

"--it's clearly screwing up our friendship because I'm an idiot and--"

"Luke!!" Alex grabs the front of Luke's jacket and shakes him a little, finally getting his attention. "You like me?"

"Y-Yeah?" Luke blinks as he looks up at Alex, who's suddenly very close to him.

"Like… more than a friend?" Alex asks as he holds Luke's stare.

"Yeah…"

"So you're not going to freak out if I…"

"What?" Luke asks, his voice hardly above a whisper. Alex doesn't say anything as he keeps eye contact with Luke as he slowly leans in. Their lips touch, barely a press at first. Luke feels Alex's hands shake against him and he carefully puts his hands over Alex's, leaning into the kiss and not letting Alex pull away.

They break apart at the sound of a nearby clock chiming its bells for midnight, and they both laugh. They're hardly a few inches apart, so Luke takes the opportunity to press another kiss against Alex's mouth.

"We're late," Alex says a moment later, pressing his forehead against Luke's.

"My mom won't mind," Luke says as he tries to chase Alex's mouth. "It's just a few minutes."

Alex snorts, taking a step back but still holding onto Luke's jacket. "You know she's going to be waiting up for us."

Luke groans. Alex's right, of course, but he doesn't _really_ care in the moment. He just wants to kiss Alex again.

"Plus," Alex says as he carefully pulls his hands out from under Luke's, rolling his eyes when Luke frowns. He slips his left hand into Luke's right, lacing their fingers together as he starts walking in the direction of the cabin. "We should probably get out of the cold."

"Good idea," Luke says with a laugh. "I already fell asleep outside once tonight."

He winces as he realizes what he's just admitted, and Alex stops in his tracks for the third time.

"Wait, what?!"

❆

It's about a quarter after midnight when Luke and Alex make it back to the cabin. Alex is the first through the door, having opened it as quietly as possible so as to try to not disturb Luke's parents. Luke closes the door behind him, breathing a sigh of relief that his mom didn't immediately pop out from around a corner to chastise them for being late.

"I think we got away with it," he says to Alex, wiggling his eyebrows. Alex rolls his eyes as they both take off their coats and boots before heading into the living room.

It's there that they find Luke's dad sitting in one of the armchairs next to the fire. Both of them immediately freeze at first sight, but then they realize that he's definitely snoring.

Luke snorts loudly, immediately clapping his hand over his mouth to try and cover the sound, but it's enough to wake Mitch up from his light slumber.

"I was just resting my eyes," he says as he turns around to see Luke and Alex standing in the doorway. "Oh, good, you're home."

Luke and Alex share a nervous look as Mitch checks the time on his watch and clicks his tongue. He looks at them both over his glasses as he stands up, and Luke thinks they're in trouble for sure.

"It's only fifteen minutes, Dad," Luke starts, immediately on the offensive. "And, if you think about it, if we hadn't woken you up, then--"

"It's alright, Luke." Mitch puts his hand on Luke's shoulder and chuckles. "Warm up by the fire for a bit, and make sure you put it out before you go to bed, okay?"

"O-Okay," Luke replies, feeling very confused by this reaction.

"Don't stay up too late," he adds, patting Luke's shoulder once before he does the same to Alex. "Merry Christmas, you two."

"Merry Christmas?" Alex replies, the tone of his voice matching Luke's confusion as they watch Mitch exit the living room. "Did… did that just happen?"

"It's a Christmas miracle," Luke says matter-of-factly, grinning widely when Alex groans.

"Go sit by the fire, Mr. I-Fell-Asleep-Outside," Alex says as he gives Luke a light shove. Luke manages to catch Alex's wrist and tugs him along with him, still smiling as they make themselves comfortable on the floor in front of the fire.

Luke leans into Alex's side, tangling their fingers together as they both stare into the fireplace. Alex kisses the top of Luke's head, humming an unfamiliar tune into his hair. Luke closes his eyes for a moment, feeling overwhelming relief after a very tumultuous few days.

"You know what I'm thinking?" he says after a few minutes of silence.

"Hmm?"

"We could…" Luke tilts his head back a little, pressing his cheek against Alex's shoulder, "...go to the hot tub."

Alex turns his head to hide the blush in his cheeks, and clears his throat. "No."

"Why not?"

"Because it's outside," Alex says. "And outside is cold."

"But the hot tub is warm," Luke persists.

"I didn't bring swim trunks," Alex says, changing gears with his argument. "I didn't think I'd need them since we're at a freaking ski resort."

"Who says you need swim trunks?" Luke says as he wiggles his eyebrows again. Alex's face gets even redder and he pulls his legs towards him so he can press his face against his knees to hide his embarrassment.

"No! We're not going to the hot tub!" Alex says, his face still pressed into his knees.

"Well, _I'm_ going to the hot tub," Luke says as he starts pulling away from Alex and getting to his feet. "And since I already fell asleep outside once today…" he says, giving Alex a pointed look when he finally lifts his head, "...you should probably come keep an eye on me."

Alex sighs heavily as Luke starts walking backwards towards the door that leads out to the rear patio area where the hot tub is. It takes another few seconds for Alex to admit defeat and get up, glowering as he switches off the gas fireplace and follows Luke.

"No more than half an hour," he says as they get to the door and Luke starts pulling off his shirt. "I mean it."

"Okay," Luke replies as he shucks off his jeans, kicking them aside which leaves him in his boxers as he reaches for two towels on the rack near the door.

"And we have to be quiet," Alex says as he tugs his shirt over his head. "I don't want to accidentally wake up your parents."

"Yes, _Dad_."

"Don't--" Alex sighs sharply, pinching the bridge of his nose between two fingers while Luke smirks at him.

"C'mon," he says, taking Alex's hand before he pulls him out through the door.

"I've still-- Luke!" Alex hadn't finished getting undressed yet, but he follows Luke outside regardless and immediately starts shivering. "It's freezing out here!"

"So get your jeans off so we can get into the tub," Luke says as he starts pulling on the cover of the hot tub. Alex tries to hurry along so he can help, but he finds that his limbs don't work quite as well when he's half-naked in freezing temperatures.

"This is a terrible idea," he mutters as he finally helps Luke pull the rest of the cover off and they both climb into the hot tub.

"No, this is the _best_ idea," Luke says as he starts pushing buttons to turn on the various jets. Alex yelps as one turns on right at the small of his back, and Luke snickers softly. "Come here."

Alex very carefully moves closer to Luke, sliding along the underwater seat so slowly that Luke starts getting impatient and meets him halfway. Luke slips further into the water, pulling Alex with him so hardly any of their skin below the neck is exposed to the cold air.

"Isn't this better?" Luke asks as he leans in and presses his mouth to Alex's.

Alex moans into Luke's mouth in response, and Luke would absolutely be lying if he said that wasn't exactly what he wanted to hear. He slides one hand around the back of Alex's neck, his fingers curling into the ends of Alex's hair as they continue kissing. Under the water, Alex's hands find their way to Luke's waist and gently pull him a little closer.

Luke hooks one of his legs across Alex's lap and scoots closer, sinking his fingers a little deeper into Alex's hair and experimenting with a light tug.

"Wait," Alex says, gasping for breath when he pulls away from Luke's mouth. "Wait, wait, just… hold on a second."

"Too much?" Luke asks, breathing hard as he tries to stay completely still.

"Yes-- No! Uhh…" Alex swallows hard and tries to sit up a little. "Maybe?"

"Sorry," Luke says, pulling his hand away from Alex's neck. "Guess I got a little carried away."

Alex laughs, brushing his hair behind his ear as he leans his head back against the edge of the hot tub. He and Luke just sort of stare at each other for a moment until Luke's eyes start to wander and Alex suddenly feels a little self-conscious. "What?"

"It's totally your fault," Luke teases.

"What?!"

"You're just… you know," he gestures to Alex and laughs, "sitting there. Like that."

"Like _what_?" Alex splutters. "Y-You're the one who basically ripped off your clothes and dragged me out here."

"Yeah…" Luke laughs as he nods his head. "But you liked it, right?"

Alex's mouth twists as his cheeks go red and he tries not to smile. "That's not the point."

"I think it is," Luke says as he sidles up to press against Alex's side again. This time he doesn't make the first move, he just sits and watches Alex's face. Alex holds out for about a minute before he leans in and kisses Luke, grumbling under his breath about something that's _not fair_.

This time Alex puts his hands on Luke's cheeks, keeping him close as they kiss. Luke stretches one of his legs across Alex's lap again, waiting a while before he starts climbing onto Alex's lap.

"Okay?" he breathes out against Alex's mouth once he's fully seated in his lap.

"Y-Yeah," Alex says in a breathy, slightly higher-pitched voice.

"Tell me if it's too much," Luke says as they start kissing again. Alex whimpers a little against Luke's mouth and clings to him, curling his fingers around the back of Luke's neck.

Alex eventually loops one of his arms around Luke's back and pulls him so close that their hips collide, and suddenly both of them are very acutely _aware_ of how close they are.

"Luke," Alex gasps. Luke grunts in response as he tilts his head back and takes a deep breath. Alex watches him, waiting for Luke to look at him again before he speaks, "too much?"

"Yeah," Luke answers, his voice strained. "Maybe, just a little."

"Sorry." Alex bites his bottom lip and Luke groans again as he shuts his eyes.

"Not helping."

"Sorry," Alex repeats as he carefully pulls his hands away from Luke. "Maybe we should go inside?"

Luke grunts as he slowly climbs off of Alex's lap, sitting down beside him with his eyes still closed and his jaw clenched.

"Gimme a minute," he says softly as he exhales through his nose. Alex snorts without meaning to, and looks very sheepish when Luke opens his eyes and glares at him. "Still your fault."

Alex cracks a smile, the sheepish look on his face transforming into one that makes him look pretty proud of himself. He finds Luke's hand underwater and laces their fingers together, then leans over and presses a light kiss against Luke's shoulder.

"You know what?" he says a moment later.

"What?"

"This is probably the best Christmas I've ever had," Alex admits softly. Luke smiles, pulling Alex's hand up and out of the water so he can kiss his knuckles.

"Me too."

They sit quietly for a few minutes, staring off into the distance and looking up at the stars in the sky. It's quiet, it's peaceful, and perfect.

Until, that is, it starts to snow.

"Nope," Alex says as he starts climbing out of the hot tub, pulling Luke with him. "Inside, now."

❆

Luke wakes up only a few hours after he went to bed. It's too early for his parents to be up which means it's _definitely_ too early for him to be awake. He rolls over in his twin bed and sees Alex on the other side of the room, and he remembers the events that transpired just a few hours ago.

Granted, he'd acted like an ass for most of the night, but the end of the night more than made up for it. At least, he hoped it did. Alex seemed to forgive him for his terrible behavior, although Luke thought maybe he should try to make it up to him at least one, if not a few, more times.

Luke suddenly remembers that one, it's officially Christmas morning and two, his gift for Alex is still in the pocket of his jacket.

He carefully slips out of bed and goes to open the door as quietly as he can, keeping an eye on Alex as he tiptoes through the doorway and down the hall. The cabin is entirely quiet and the only light is that of the rising sun peeking in through the window shades. Somehow Luke manages to make it into the front hall without running into anything and he pulls the small box out of his jacket pocket.

After making it back to the room without disturbing anything else or anyone, Luke shuts the door behind him and looks at Alex, who's still asleep in bed. Logically speaking, Luke knows he should just climb back into his own bed and try to go back to sleep and wait to give Alex his present at a more reasonable time of day.

But Luke is anything but logical.

He creeps over to Alex's side of the room and sets the box down on the bedside table, then he slowly lifts up the corner of the blanket that's closest to him and crawls in next to Alex. It's a tight fit, especially because Alex isn't awake to move over, but Luke settles in as best he can and cuddles up to Alex.

Alex stirs a little, his eyes fluttering open and shut when he realizes he's not alone in his bed anymore. Luke smiles as Alex wakes up a little more, rubbing at his eyes and yawning as he shifts around.

"What're you doing?" he asks, his voice sleep-thick and groggy. "What time'sit?"

"Early," Luke answers softly.

"Bedtime," Alex says as he closes his eyes again and buries his face against Luke's chest. "Go sleep."

"It's Christmas," Luke whispers in Alex's ear.

Alex grunts. "Not yet. Later."

"I have a present for you."

Alex groans as he rolls onto his back and huffs. "No," he whines.

"You don't want it?"

"I want _sleep_ ," he says as he rubs his eyes again. "Presents later. Sleep now."

"You can sleep again after you open your present," Luke promises. Alex takes a deep breath, blinking at Luke a few times before he nods.

"You're lucky you're cute," he mumbles as Luke turns around to grab the box off the nightstand. He passes it to Alex before curling into his side, putting his head on Alex's shoulder as he watches him open the small box.

Alex doesn't say a word as he unveils the small rainbow ornament, not even when he picks it up by the string and holds it up so he can get a better look.

"Do you like it?" Luke asks. "It reminded me of you."

"It's…"

"I saw it and like, I just started thinking about you and us and what you mean to me and I just…" Luke looks up at Alex and starts panicking a little, "that's sort of when I realized how I felt about you, I guess? And like, I didn't really know what that meant but it was a lot and I didn't know what to do and--"

Alex cuts him off by leaning down to kiss him, rolling over so he's hovering over Luke with the ornament still clutched in one hand. The box falls off the bed and onto the floor, but neither of them particularly care.

"It's perfect," Alex whispers as he smiles down at Luke. He gently puts the ornament down on the table and when he looks at Luke again, he shakes his head. "You're an idiot, you know that, right?"

Luke's mouth twists with a smile and Alex leans down to kiss him again.

"You're _my_ idiot," Alex murmurs against Luke's mouth. Luke smiles as he kisses Alex again, curling his fingers into Alex's hair.

After a few minutes Alex lays back down next to Luke and the two of them curl into each other so that they fit a little better in the small bed. He grabs Luke's hand and cradles it against his chest, leaning down to kiss Luke's fingers before he closes his eyes again. Luke falls asleep fairly quickly after Alex does, knowing that this really is the best Christmas he's ever had.

**Epilogue**

A few hours later, a loud knock at the door wakes Alex up. At first he thinks he's hearing things but then it happens again _and_ Emily's voice comes through from the other side. He looks down at Luke, who's still asleep, and absolutely panics.

"Luke!" he hisses as he shakes Luke awake. "Wake up! Your mom's at the door!"

Luke blinks tiredly for a moment until Alex's words actually click into place in his mind, and then he goes into full panic mode too. So much that he actually falls out of bed with a loud crash, which is exactly where Emily finds him when she opens the door a moment later.

"Are you two alright?" she asks, giving them both a strange look as she surveys the situation.

"Yep," Luke answers quickly. "Just… fell out of bed."

Luke smiles at his mom, hoping she won't notice that he is very clearly too far away from his own bed to have fallen out of it. He doesn't turn to look at Alex, he just hopes that whatever face Alex is making, it doesn't look _too_ guilty.

"Okay," Emily says, looking at them with disbelief in her eyes. "Breakfast is almost ready."

"We'll be right out," Luke says, waving her out. She closes the door and he immediately collapses back onto the floor.

"Are you okay?" Alex says as he leans over the side of the bed.

"Do you think she noticed anything?" Luke asks. Alex opens his mouth to say something, but pauses.

"I…" He winces. "Maybe?"

Luke closes his eyes and groans. He's never going to live this down.

They emerge from their room a few minutes later, finding Luke's parents sitting down at the table with a full spread of food set out. They're greeted with a chorus of "merry Christmas!" and ushered to come sit down. Alex moves to take his place on the other side of the table, but Luke catches his wrist before he can get too far.

"Mom, Dad?" Luke takes a deep breath as he slides his hand into Alex's. "I have something to tell you."

"What is it?" Emily asks.

Luke looks at her for a moment, gauging the worried look on her face before he turns to his dad to do the same. Only, his dad doesn't look as worried as his mom does. His dad's eyes are fixed on where Luke's hand is joined with Alex's, and Luke's heart nervously skips a beat.

"So," Mitch says with a sigh. "Finally figured yourselves out?"

Both Luke and Alex stare at him open-mouthed, and Emily quickly chastises him.

"What?" he says, chuckling. "It's about time they did. C'mon, now, sit down and have some breakfast."

Alex snorts loudly, hiding his laughter in his hand as he steps away from Luke and takes his place on the other side of the table. Luke continues staring at his dad in disbelief as he sits down, trying to figure out what the hell just happened.

"You knew?" he asks. Mitch smiles as he reaches out and takes Luke's hand.

"Luke…" he says, "you're not very subtle."

**Author's Note:**

> hit me up on [tumblr](https://astorytotellyourfriends.tumblr.com/) pls i'm always bored
> 
> also i promise my next fic will have julie <3


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